Sunday 8 April 2007

Zorbing



It's not hard to picture the scene: a handful of local adventure tourism operators kicking back at the end of a hard day of scaring tourists, downing a few Steinlagers and trying to think up new ways of parting gullible, adventure loving backpackers from their parent's hard-earned Euro (or Yen, or dollars, you get the idea). Then one pipes up with:
"How about this: We get a giant inflatable ball, right, and we stick a punter inside. Then we push them down a bloody big hill!"
And to a chorus of "Choice!", "Sweet-as!" and other stereotypical New Zealander epithets, the group set off to establish the activity of Zorbing.
In theory it sounds brilliant, and Kiwis have an enviable reputation for adventure tourism - jet boating, bungy jumping, bungy slingshots, and various other bungy-related activites. The trouble is, with Zorbing, somewhere between that alcohol-fuelled concept meeting and the execution, things went pear-shaped.
For starters, the Zorb is so bloody big that it has the aerodynamics of a small barn, but inflatable, so it has the weight of a kite. Imagine skiing with a parachute attached. So even on a decent slope, it's just too damn slow. It takes about 40 seconds to get down a 200 metre hill. People can run that fast. (Other people, admittedly.)
Secondly, the balls are made of clear plastic, which is great for the first 10 minutes of use, but then they get scratched and hazy and you can't see in. Or out.
And finally most people take up the option to have a bucket of water thrown in with them, making the whole thing slippery. Personally I'd take the dry option so that you have at least half a chance to stand up, run, trip, fall over, and generally tumble your brains out in relative safety. I guess the aim is to experience what it's like inside a washing machine, if the washing machine were giant and padded and rolling down a hill. But they're not. So it ends up being like sitting in a cold bathtub, whilst going down an escalator. With your eyes closed. To very badly paraphrase Groucho Marx (apologies), a real washing machine would be much more fun.
So, in its current execution, Zorbing is a failure as a proper adventure activity. I was excited to try something unique, but after 2 minutes of watching I was ready to leave. We only stayed to take some photos.
Not to be entirely negative, I can see the potential of the Zorb. But it requires a few enhancements: One, make the hill steeper. Much steeper. You could probably drop these things off a cliff and they'd float down gently without hurting the occupants. Two, add some obstacles to the hill, so you have a more exciting trajectory than straight down, or down the lame "luge" course. A few bumps, jumps, bounces, and trees to hit would make it far more satisfying.
As an endpoint to this rant, the show "MXC" (which is an amusing US redubbing of the Japanese gameshow Takeshi's Castle if you've missed it) had a far more hardcore version of this activity, involving a small hard plastic ball (barely big enough to fit someone in) and a real obstacle course. No doubt painful, but genuinely funny and surely more adrenaline inducing.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love Japanese game shows. check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvM8Cp7wnXQ
Anyway, it sounds like zorbing should involve getting strapped down on the inside or better yet, velroed with velcro that's not quite strong enough, so you get to go upside down, and hopefully get flung about occasionally, too. Maybe handles - hard wooden ones that you can lose an eye on if you're not careful. Choice, bro, eh?

abhishek k r said...

hey.. zorbing seems really interesting. hope u guys had fun, so u originally from NZ

Matt King said...

No, but my dad's family is. We originally hail from Australia.